The Sabotage Plan
by xWickedCharmx
Summary: Infuriatingly possessive male friends, a plan of not-so-epic proportions, and a realization that she needs no other. They couldn't help it; they fell in love. —akasaku.


**The Sabotage Plan**

Summary: Infuriatingly possessive male friends, a plan of not-so-epic proportions, and a realization that she needs no other. They couldn't help it; they fell in love. ─akasaku.

* * *

_In an alternate, pretty universe, wherein the Uchiha clan still stands tall and proud, the Akatsuki is a specialized subdivision of Konoha's ANBU, Tobi is Tobi, and our lovely blossom-haired heroine is their personal medic. Gotta give the best for the best, eh?_

* * *

Nine pairs of determined, gleaming eyes could be seen across a long, mahogany table in what was unofficially dubbed as "The Meeting Place." A blue-haired kunoichi, hair styled in a simple bun adorned with a white flower origami, was leisurely standing near the only window in the room. Lightly pinching the bridge of her nose (a habit she picked up from her childhood friend slash leader), she watched with unveiled amusement as her immature, jealous, and infuriatingly possessive peers conspired.

"He is unworthy, _definitely_ an unworthy piece of inartistic male trash."

"I second that, Sasori-danna."

"Pssh, there's nothin' nice 'bout that stupid fucker, really."

"He is not even worth a damn cent."

"He's just an emotionless and pompous bastard who got lucky."

"Che. Probably a wanna-be Akatsuki, too. **Pathetic.**"

"A pitiable shinobi like him will _never_ deserve a jewel like her."

"Ne, Itachi-senpai, isn't that a little bit harsh?"

"What do you think then, Tobi, un?"

"Ah! Tobi thinks he should stay far, far away from her! Oh, he's really **fugly** too!"

". . ."

". . ."

"Akatsuki impromptu meeting closed. The Sabotage plan, **in action.**"

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

It was one of those rare but welcomed days wherein Sakura─constantly working and researching and learning and helping─has no surgeries to conduct, no fatally injured ninjas needed to be rescued from the brink of death, no missions, no training, and no paperwork (both hospital-related, and paperwork that she often finds herself stuck with due to her ever procrastinating shishou/hokage). She only had to do a quick morning round in the hospital, visit the fresh interns working at some antidotes down in the lab, and drop by the Yamanaka flower shop for a quick chat (and giggle fest) with Ino.

After all those were done, the pinkette started walking towards the Akatsuki's headquarters (more like Akatsuki's home, since most of the members use it as their living space rather than their separate apartments/houses). Konan, who she saw yesterday in the Hokage Tower, invited her to come over for lunch today. For the past two weeks, the whole Akatsuki gang were out of the village for a special (and confidential) mission. Completing their tasks with excellent results, the Godaime Hokage has given them all a well-deserved break from their dangerous occupations. With her off-duty passion for cooking and anything considered domestic, Konan decided to hold a "celebration lunch" of sorts to start off their mini vacation. Of course, she knew that her male colleagues (who simply adore the fiery pink-haired medic) has surely missed their beloved Sakura; this was the reason she invited her over (Konan mentally praised herself for being such a great friend). Well... that and the fact that testosterone overload would definitely kill her if she doesn't have some girl time soon. (If you're wondering, during Akatsuki's first meeting with Sakura in her personal hospital office, she straight-up told them to stop _manly-bitching_, forget their gigantic and demented egos for once, suck it up, and accept that they'll have to attend physical exams at least once every two months since they're always off to risky, precarious missions─they really had no choice in the matter anyways─and they were irrevocably charmed since then.)

Her mind drifting to the males of Akatsuki, Sakura's eyes softened as she realized how much she has missed them._ I haven't seen those insufferable, egotistic and socially awkward friends of mine for two weeks_, Sakura thought to herself with a slight smile. Not wanting to pass the opportunity to hang out with all of them together, she happily agreed to Konan's lunch proposal.

After a comfortable walk under a cloudy sky with streaks of sunshine peeking through, the green-eyed kunoichi finally reached her destination. Tucking a lock of cerise hair behind her ear, Sakura raised her right hand to knock on the door to the headquarters. However, before her knuckles could even touch the quite expensive wood of the artistically carved door (courtesy of one redhead puppet master), a rush of wind greeted her and she was attacked with a fierce hug, making her stumble back and push chakra to her feet to keep herself and her attacker upright.

"Sakura-chan, Tobi missed you so muuuch!"

Blinking, she looked at the male currently glomping her to near suffocation. Uchiha Tobi, who suffers from an intermediate case of personality disorder (but nevertheless an excellent shinobi), was grinning at her with black twinkling eyes, his trademark orange swirling mask resting on the side of his head. Huffing with amusement, she took out her right arm from Tobi's caging hug to pinch his left cheek with her thumb and index finger. Smiling, she said, "Really? But Tobi, there would be nothing to miss anymore if you continue glomping me to death, you know."

Processing her words, his eyes widened comically and he instantly stepped back to release Sakura from his arms. Placing his hands on her shoulders, Tobi frantically scanned her for injuries from his fierce hug. Seeing none, he audibly sighed just as his female companion started chuckling at his relieved expression.

"Haha, Tobi, I was just teasing! I'm fine," Sakura said, pinching his cheek for the second time that day. Smiling, she continued, "I missed you too."

Pouting, the childlike Uchiha replied, "That was not nice, Sakura-chan. Tobi was actually quite worried!" But he soon abandoned his pouting face to give her a quick one-armed hug. Then, grabbing her left hand, Tobi led her inside after closing the door to their headquarters with a click.

"Guys, Sakura-chan is heeeere!"

As the duo reached the spacious living room, Sakura saw six males lounging on the exquisite sofa and armchairs, wearing comfortable non-shinobi clothes from wifebeaters and sweatpants to shirts and cargo shorts. Stepping into view, the males' attention instantly went to her, and they stood up to greet their lovely guest.

Before she could even raise her hand for a cheery wave, she was already in the arms of another affectionate Akatsuki member. "Sakura-chan!" Pulling back, but still keeping the pinkette in a loose hug, Deidara tipped her cute button nose with his own and presented her a dashing grin. Cerulean eyes twinkling, he said, "I've missed you. And your hair, and your so pretty eyes, and smile, and how much more _charming_ you become when you're healing people or being stubborn." Blushing a bit, Sakura amusedly shook her head at the blonde's sweet words. She playfully replied, "Geez, Deidara, if you're trying to woo my precious heart, you'd have to do better than that."

Smirking like a mischievous man on a mission, the bomb expert started to say, "Hmm, is that a challen─" but was coolly interrupted by his red-haired partner 'accidentally' bumping into him, making him slightly stumble to the side and away from the medic.

Using his right arm to bring their heads closer, Sasori, with warm honey-brown eyes, lightly nuzzled his right cheek to Sakura's own akin to a cat showing his appreciation of his owner. Voice much like velvet chocolate, he softly whispered in her ear, "It's been a while, _Sakura_."

Just as she felt a shiver crawl up her spine, the puppet master was ungraciously shove aside by none other than the self-proclaimed hottest bachelor of the village (which everyone scoffed at—yeah right), Hidan.

"Back off, woodchip." Averting his eyes from the disgruntled form of the puppet master, Hidan locked eyes with emerald orbs. With an impish smirk gracing his face, he huskily spoke, "Hmm, haven't seen your sexy self for a while, **babe**." With that, he swooped down, giving her a saucy wink, and tenderly squeezed her (hot and irresistable) behind with his right hand.

Within an instant, the Jashinist was face-down on the floor with Sakura's foot pressing down on his head, enough to leave a face imprint on the lavish carpet. Eyebrow ticking, the irritated medic stepped on the awkwardly sprawled body on the floor and walked towards the three remaining Akatsuki in the living room who she has not greeted yet. Facing their highly amused faces (with Deidara and Tobi guffawing like idiots in the background), she scratched her cheek (a habit picked up from Naruto) and grinned at Itachi, Kisame and Kakuzu.

"Hey guys! I might say, I'm certainly glad to see you all back from your mission without life-threatening injuries," Sakura greeted with mirth lacing her voice. Kakuzu nodded at her with an unnoticeable smile, while Kisame ruffled her hair fondly and replied, "Well, we wouldn't want to add unnecessary trouble for you, eh, princess?" That earned him a chuckle and a "Don't call me princess!"

Itachi then captured Sakura's attention by gently taking her right hand, and with a grace and finesse characteristic of an Uchiha prodigy, placed a featherweight kiss on her knuckles. Disregarding the glares bombarding him from every direction (and inwardly relishing the pink hues on her cheeks), he presented her a soft smile that spoke for itself how delighted he was to see her and be able to spend time with her.

Before the other jealous males could attack (both verbally and physically) Itachi from being too close to their fiery medic, the remaining male members of Akatsuki entered the living room. Sakura's gaze landed on them, and she enthusiastically greeted, "Oh! Welcome back, Pein-san, Zetzu-san!"

Stepping away from Itachi (after lightly squeezing his hand to show her appreciation for his sweet gesture), she gave a gentle smile to Akatsuki's leader and resident information specialist. Both shinobi nodded at her, and Pein greeted back with pleased eyes, "Hello, Sakura."

Then, Konan walked in and ushered everyone to the large dining table, informing them that dinner was ready and they could all catch up while eating the delicious food she has prepared. As they proceeded to the dining room, Deidara brought up that he will be sitting beside Sakura, and an argument arose between the males. Sighing, Sakura couldn't help but wonder how she ended up being friends with these men. _Oh well, I love them anyways._

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

As they filled their stomachs and made small talk with occasional funny comments (Konan's an excellent cook, which explains the lack of arguing and loud banter), the blue-haired kunoichi decided to find out whether a certain piece of information she has heard in passing just this morning (from a loud-mouthed Yamanaka conversing with the heiress of the Hyuuga clan) was true.

"Sakura," Konan said to gain the attention of the pinkette. "Is it true that you're going on a date tomorrow with a newly recruited jounin?"

Every single male in the table froze, but Sakura didn't notice for she was trying to figure out how Konan found out about her plans for tomorrow. She replied, "Well, yes. I'm guessing you heard it from Ino? That girl can never shut her mouth, especially when it involves me."

Sasori, snapping out of his frozen state, asked blandly, "Who's the moro—I mean, guy?"

Tugging at her bangs (another habit of hers when she's flustered or feeling a bit shy), which caused narrowed gazes from the males, the emerald-eyed girl sheepishly said, "His name is Himoru Ketsu. Umm, two days ago, he asked me out on a date, with flowers too, and I said yes. He's taking me out to this fair, called Festival of Sight and Sound."

Konan, after sipping her drink, thought aloud, "Isn't that this festival that happens every two years and is popular with civilians?" Sakura nodded and replied, "Yeah. Its an arts fair with displays of visual, performing and musical arts from all over the Fire Nation. I went once with my family, but that was when I was still a child. I'm actually excited." She smiled to herself, and the Akatsuki men didn't like it one bit. She continued, "I bet Sasori and Deidara would love it."

She turned to the aforementioned males for a response, but all she got were blank stares. Blinking confusedly, she looked around and noticed that besides her and Konan, everyone has stopped eating. "Umm guys, you alright?"

After a very uncomfortable silence, Akatsuki's leader spoke with finality in his tone.

"**No.**"

Gaze landing on a stoic Pein, the cerise-haired medic asked what he meant by no.

"You are not going on a date tomorrow with Himoru Ketsu. **I do not approve**."

. . .

"Did you just say that I'm not going on my date tomorrow because _you do not approve_? I think I heard it wrong," Sakura gritted out, hoping that she misheard what Pein just said.

"You heard it perfectly correct."

"What the hec—" Sakura was interrupted when her male friends started backing up Pein's lovely statement.

"Sakura-chan, Tobi cannot let you go out with a random guy who's probably just trying to find the perfect moment to sexually harass you!"

"Tobi's right, un," Deidara nodded solemnly, agreeing with the childish member for once. "Just hearing his name makes me think of pervert, crazy rapist, and _devirginization_."

Kisame spoke, "Never heard of the guy before. He might be just some lame ass and good-for-nothing shinobi. Don't waste your time on him."

Hidan added, "He's probably ugly too, not even close to how fucking handsome and sexy I am. Tsk, you should have better standards than that, babe."

"I don't trust him at all. Just ditch him," Kakuzu muttered.

Sasori pitched in. "Kisame's most likely right, Sakura. I'm not allowing you to go out with a pansy. Only _weak_ girls go for _weak_ guys."

Itachi nodded at Sasori's statement, and continued, "We all could go to the festival with you instead."

"I agree. With us, you're safe and you'd have more fun. He could attack you on your date, **and you'd be defenceless**," Zetsu remarked smartly.

Pein let out a grunt, pleased with his members' inputs.

. . .

With a vein throbbing violently on her head and anger bubbling inside her, Sakura abruptly stood up, knocking her chair upside down. Instantly, all attention was on her.

"I can tolerate you not wanting me to go because you have no idea who my date is," she spoke, voice even and deadly. "But claiming that I have **no taste** in men, and insinuating that I'm **weak and defenceless**…"

Sakura viciously glared at each male on the dining table, a glare that can make Naruto run for the hills and Sasuke to back away and genuinely fear for his life, and said in a lethal voice, "_**Fuck. You. All.**_"

She stomped away, intent on getting out of the headquarters and away from her bastardly friends. But before she was out of hearing shot of the Akatsuki, she spoke, "And Deidara, just so you know, I am _not a virgin_."

As the front door was violently smashed closed (probably broken off its hinges), Konan audibly sighed, not believing the chaos her comrades just caused.

"You morons."

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

The festival was vibrant and full of life. There were lights and paper decorations hung across the place tastefully, and music could be heard everywhere, from pleasant orchestra to acoustic bands and small drumlines. There were many people; laughing, dancing, cheering, singing, observing and buying artworks, playing instruments, and many more. There were also some scattered food booths, from dango carts to mini music-themed cafes.

Sakura was awed by the scenery and the spirit and vitality present in the atmosphere. Wearing a simple dark-green tube dress with a flowing skirt, a white flyaway cardigan, and white wedges (she was going for flats originally, but Ino told her wedges will make her legs look sexy), she was led through the fair leisurely by her date who tucked her arm under his like a proper gentleman.

"Why the hell did she dress so prettily, un?" Deidara muttered, staring dismally at his charming muse from a distance. "Why doesn't she dress up like that in front of us?"

"Deidara, shut up. Remember why we're here, brat," Sasori gritted out. They were lurking behind a music stall selling sheet music and chord books, making sure the pinkette was oblivious to their presence. As much as he wanted to soak in the simple beauty of their fiery medic (and the art displayed everywhere), they have a mission to do.

"Sakura, let's go over there. That man's painting an abstract image on his canvas, and it seems promising," Ketsu announced, steering her to a small display with an old man surrounded by cans of paint. Sakura didn't really want to go, but her date didn't give her a chance to say no. She actually wanted to see a different display wherein a woman was painting a fight scene between two male shinobi, which she thought was more interesting than random shapes painted together.

As the couple reached the old man, Deidara and Sasori moved.

_**Make him embarrass himself in front of Sakura.**_

As childish as it seems, the duo's first idea to sabotage the date was to… have paint poured all over the stupid guy (it was actually Deidara's idea, and Sasori decided to just go along with it). The guy wouldn't want to walk around the festival covered in paint, right? He'll be too embarrassed to continue the date. And Sakura wouldn't want to walk around beside a guy covered in paint, either, right?

"Oh, young man, would you kindly pass me that can of gold paint near you? Thank you," the old man politely asked without taking his attention off of his artwork.

As Sakura's date reached down to obtain the can three-fourths full of gold paint, Deidara sent a tiny clay bug and made it land right on the painter's wrist. When Ketsu extended his arm to give the can to the man, the clay bug silently exploded, causing a small shock that led to the painter's arm jerking sideways and hitting the paint can off of Ketsu's grasp.

When the object was in midair, Sasori attached the finest chakra strings he can make that were nearly invisible to the naked eye to the can. With a flick of his fingers, the can tilted with its opening facing Ketsu. Gravity then acted, making the gold paint spill on Ketsu's white dress shirt. If it weren't for the new jounin's reflex, the paint would have coated his pants, too.

Withdrawing his chakra strings, Sasori joined Deidara in his smirking fest.

"Oh my! I am deeply sorry, young man! I-I felt a small shock and couldn't help my arm from suddenly moving, an-and now I ruined your shirt!" the old man cried out, quickly grabbing a clean white cloth out of nowhere and nervously trying to dab the paint away.

Sakura, surprised at what just happened, looked worriedly at her date (and inwardly laughing a bit seeing his eyebrow tick). Before she can offer some help, her date stopped the frantic old man from trying to wipe the paint off his shirt. Telling him that it was okay and to continue with his artwork, he set the paint can he was still holding down on the floor. Moving back to where Sakura was, he made some hand signs, and a 'poof' was heard as a small pack appeared.

Ketsu then unbuttoned his ruined shirt and took it off, exposing his delicious abs and toned arms to the world (ohmysexygawd—_inner_). He asked the stunned pinkette to hold his dirtied clothing, took out a clean black polo from the pack, and put it on with a confident grace.

Seeing Sakura's flustered gaze towards her date's… assets, and the turn of events they did not at all expect, Sasori and Deidara face-palmed.

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

The couple sat at a table in an open-space small restaurant, surrounded by a bamboo fence decorated with small art pieces of picturesque sceneries. Sakura looked around, noticing all the servers were females. Some distance away, she saw a male violinist playing a soft, lovely melody. She smiled at her date, and then examined the menu for something appetizing.

"Itachi, stop trying to burn the guy down with your eyes—which I know you totally can with your Sharingan and all—and focus on the task at hand," Kisame exasperatedly said. They were expertly hiding behind the small establishment where the restaurant's food were prepared. Receiving a 'hn' from his partner, he sighed and looked at the scene before them.

Itachi ripped his angry gaze away from the person opposite his darling object of affection, gears turning in his head as they put their plan into action.

_**Make him act like an asshole in front of Sakura.**_

"Wait, what?! Why don't you do it, Itachi?!" Kisame hissed at his partner. "Why do I get to henge as the waitress?!"

Itachi calmly replied, like he was talking to a rebelling child, "You are more natural than me in acting stupid, and it is for the best that I stay behind to make sure there are no complications."

The Samehada wielder, highly offended, said, "Did you just say that I'm normally stupid? What the hell, Itachi! You're the one who looks feminine, you shoul—" He was cut off when the Uchiha prodigy sent him a vicious glare, stating that _if you do not do as I say, Akatsuki will be dining on blue-tinted fish sticks tonight._ Gulping, Kisame accepted defeat, not wanting to die today, and in the hands of a comrade, nonetheless.

The duo's plan was to have one of them henge as a female waitress and be the server for Sakura and her date. Itachi will put one of the original servers in a genjustu, making her believe that her boss sent her away to the festival for an errand. Once the girl leaves the restaurant for that 'errand', Kisame, henge'd as the girl (making sure his chakra signature could not be detected by Sakura), will serve the couple. The blue-haired nin will act like a bumbling and stupid waitress to try and make Sakura's date lose his composure and seem like a total asshole.

With the complete transformation, Itachi signaled Kisame to move, and the now female and brunette Akatsuki member approached the couple with a notepad and pen in hand. "Good evening, what will be your orders?" Kisame inwardly cringed at his fake feminine voice; it sounded like Tobi with a giant lollipop lodged in his windpipe.

Scrutinizing the fidgeting waitress, Sakura ordered a miso-katsudon and a cup of oolong tea, and handed the menu to the server. After writing it down, the waitress turned to the male, "How about you, sir?"

Ketsu closed the menu and replied, "I'll have miso-katsudon as well, with ice-cold water."

Kisame scribbled, and recited with some stutter, "W-would that be medium-rare or fully cooked?"

The male jounin questioned, "Pardon me?"

Giving him an innocent glance (well, as innocent as Kisame can get), he replied, "Would that be medium-rare or ful—"

Ketsu cut him off, "I heard you perfectly correct. What I meant was I do not understand the need for that question."

Scratching his cheek nervously, Kisame replied, "Well, s-sir, you ordered grilled chicken on brown rice. We need to know h-how you like it cooked." He inwardly smirked when the guy's eyebrow ticked in annoyance.

"I did not order that. I asked for miso-katsudon, just like my companion," Ketsu said evenly.

"Oh! I-is that so?" When Ketsu nodded, Kisame copied the Hyuga heiress' actions when she's flustered (or in front of Naruto). He in turn said, "B-but sir, brown rice is h-healthier! And you look like the type to, umm, enjoy grilled meat! So, yeah..."

Ketsu ignored his comment and spoke, "Miso-katsudon, please."

"A-are you sure?" A nod. "Really really sure with your order, s-sir?" Kisame expected a rude comment, or a glare.

But all he received was a nod. No comments at all. _A perfect poker face_.

Kisame was disappointed and a little annoyed, and went away to get their food.

Sakura, amused at the interaction between her date and the waitress, tugged at a strand of cerise hair. She was thinking.

A couple of minutes later, and with a "Try harder, Kisame" from Itachi, Kisame brought their food. While serving, he kept doing things that will annoy Sakura's companion, like forgetting to give him chopsticks, asking if he would like a bib with a picture of a duck to keep his polo clean, and almost spilling water directly on the guy's crotch. Sakura just quietly watched on with mirth in her eyes.

But, like before, there were no impolite comments or angry glares. Ketsu stayed a perfect gentleman, thanking him for serving their food and even helping him later on when collecting their empty dishes. Kisame was highly pissed that he could not crack the guy's composure.

With the empty plates on hand and the cheque, Kisame stomped away with a scowl.

Itachi, not liking how Kisame failed in his mission, attempted one last try to sabotage the couple's dinner. Henge'd as a plain-looking male civilian, he walked through the restaurant grounds just as the duo was leaving their table. Pretending to be engrossed in the artworks scattered around, he 'unintentionally' bumped into Ketsu. The force was enough to cause the male to stumble a bit back.

With a highly insulting comment ready on the tip of his tongue (which he believed should receive a scathing reply in return, both for the comment and the bump), Itachi turned to the pinkette's companion only to freeze on his spot.

The force of the bump caused Ketsu to step back, which in turn caused Sakura, who was admiring the violinist's skills, to crash into his back. With startled eyes, she lost balance and fell back. Her date, however, quickly stopped her descent to the ground by putting one arm around her to support her back, while the other supported her head. With Ketsu's head so close to her, it looked like he was dipping her for a kiss.

With 'awws' and 'hoots' in the background, and the feeling of her date's nose lightly touching hers, Sakura turned tomato red.

Itachi almost used the Amaterasu.

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

"Would you like to visit that quaint shop, Sakura?" Ketsu asked, nodding towards a large booth selling eye-catching items such as trinkets, abstract figurines, and miniature versions of different musical instruments.

Eyes lighting up, Sakura said yes and they walked to the booth, the merchant giving them a welcoming smile.

"Don't overdo it, Hidan, or Sakura will notice and she'll release hell upon us," Kakuzu warned his silver-haired partner. Receiving a grumble in reply, both men secured positions a distance away from the couple without alerting them of their presence.

_**Make him ditch Sakura.**_

The zombie brothers, as Kisame and Deidara liked to call them, planned to sabotage the date by making Sakura's companion believe he was being attacked by an unknown enemy, all the while keeping Sakura oblivious on what was happening. As a jounin, he would call on his shinobi duty and pursue his attacker. For that to happen, he would have to ditch the pinkette. When the male was gone, the duo would approach the green-eyed medic, and they would happily spend time together in the festival. Hidan thought it was the most ingenious idea ever.

"Ohh, those wooden trinkets are very pretty! Mom would love them," Sakura said as she detached herself from her date's arm, moving to the side of the shop that captured her attention. Ketsu decided to stay behind and let her examine the jewelry.

With mini practice kunais (the kind that were used in the ninja academy) and senbons (sneaked out from Sasori's inventory), the Akatsuki duo took advantage of Sakura's engrossed state and began their silent but deadly assault.

Hidan threw two mini kunais, one hitting the ground just to the left of Ketsu's feet while the other grazed his hair and lodged into the wooden pole on the neighboring booth. The pinkette's companion tensed, and surveyed the area without alerting the kunoichi.

Kakuzu then let two senbons fly out of his hand, one grazing Ketsu's pants (creating a small rip) and the other flying just above his head and lodging on the shop's banner. The new jounin tried to pinpoint where the weapons came from, so the two partners-in-crime changed hiding locations.

This continued on for about five minutes. Hidan and Kakuzu made sure their attacks were not noticed by Sakura, while the jounin discreetly tried to find out where the attacks came from and who the attackers were. Whenever Sakura turned her back on him to examine some other item, Ketsu would quickly pull out one of the kunai or senbon thrown at him, just to throw it back to where he thought his attacker(s) were (making sure no innocent people were hurt, of course).

Hidan was getting impatient. "Why the hell is this shithead still not moving from his spot to find us? He needs to hurry the fuck up and leave," he grumbled. Getting an idea, Hidan grinned wickedly and thought, _maybe this would do the trick._

With a senbon in hand, Hidan threw the weapon straight at the jounin, more specifically, straight towards his crotch.

Unfortunately, Ketsu saw the attack. The instant he caught the senbon aimed at his manhood, he threw it back with equal speed from the direction it came from. And since Hidan let his guard down, thinking nothing will ever go wrong with their plan, he noticed the weapon headed at him a bit too late.

_Jackpot._

...Well, not really.

The senbon lodged itself on Hidan's flesh (he's shirtless, as usual), a miniscule distance away from his left nipple.

"What the fuck?!" Hidan cursed, taking the senbon out of his chest. Kakuzu, who was hiding on a nearby booth, silently laughed.

Highly pissed, Hidan angrily took a kunai (the normal size) and threw it straight towards the jounin. However, he failed to notice that Sakura was already standing right beside her date. Just as he threw the kunai, Sakura moved to admire a colorful hanging ornament, essentially putting herself right on the trajectory path of the kunai.

The Akatsuki duo's eyes widened.

"This would look really nice in my apartm—" Sakura was cut off as she was suddenly pressed snugly to her date's chest, Ketsu's arm locked around her waist. She could feel his body heat, and the ridges of his wondrous abs that she had the lucky chance to see early on their date. She couldn't stop her cheeks from becoming pink. Her inner just intensified her blush by saying_ I saw his abs, and now felt his abs… what's next, taste his abs? *insert wink_

Meeting her gaze, Ketsu explained, "There was a… flyaway kunai, probably from some troublesome kids." Still blushing (which she have been doing a lot today), she replied, "Umm, okay. Thank you."

She gave her date a pretty smile, while Kakuzu gave his partner a pretty punch in the face.

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

"Tobi wants to be the one dancing with Sakura-chan," the orange-masked shinobi whined. He gloomily watched the male jounin twirl their green-eyed medic among a big dancing crowd.

In the centre of the festival was a large orchestra, led by a grey-haired conductor. They were playing a lovely waltz piece, and many couples could be seen dancing to the enchanting music. Ketsu invited Sakura to dance, complete with a kneel on one knee and a kiss to the hand. Of course, Sakura couldn't say no, and they elegantly swayed to the music.

With jealous eyes, Tobi and Zetsu followed the couple's every move. Despising the intimacy, Zetsu voiced out, "Let's get the plan going, Tobi. **Time for some mischief.**"

The bi-colored man started moving, but his partner's voice stopped him.

"Ne, Zetsu-san, Tobi thinks that, maybe, umm, we should just leave?"

Narrowing his gaze, Zetsu stared at his partner inquisitively. "What are you talking about, Tobi? Are you saying that we should just leave Sakura in the hands of that jounin? **Not a chance.**"

It was quiet for a while, then Tobi, with a wistful voice, spoke, "Tobi doesn't like the guy, but Sakura-chan… Tobi can see Sakura-chan is _happy_."

Zetsu's gaze landed on the kunoichi. Sighing, he slightly nodded, agreeing that Sakura does indeed seem to be enjoying herself. That beautiful smile on her face was proof enough. Shoulders slumping, he murmured, "I guess she really likes the guy, huh?" With a last glance, the Akatsuki duo walked away.

Because no matter how much they are selfish and want her for themselves, Sakura's happiness comes first. _Always_.

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

"So, I guess we failed," Deidara stated dejectedly, leaning against a tree.

The whole Akatsuki (minus Konan) met at a park just outside the festival, adorned by a medium-sized koi pond with a bridge across it. Pein made every pair retell how their plans went, starting from the artist duo to Tobi and Zetsu who explained that they couldn't do it.

Pein sighed, and the atmosphere around them became much more depressing.

"Nice hiding place," a feminine voice piped up, startling the downcast males.

Sakura, in her pretty dark-green dress, white cardigan, and white wedges, stood before them, a bag of trinkets and whatnots in one hand, and a secretive smile on her face.

"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Itachi slowly voiced out.

Raising a pink eyebrow, she casually replied, "Is that how you greet me, when I clearly remember you guys trying to _sabotage my date_?"

Eyes widening, the Akatsuki males looked at each other. Pein, being the most composed one, asked—okay, stated, "You knew."

Shrugging, she looked at them amusedly. "I had a hunch that something was up during dinner, with the waitress fiasco and all, but later confirmed it when I saw the kunai and senbon lodged in different places just before we left the trinket shop." She saw Kisame look away, and Hidan glare at Kakuzu. She continued, "I knew it would be you guys because of what happened yesterday."

Sasori, remembering the words he had said the day before, started to apologize, but Sakura cut him off. "Oh, I'm not mad anymore, don't worry. I overreacted, just like you guys, so we are all in fault. Besides, I knew deep down that you just wanted what's best for me. Although, you could have expressed your displeasure with better words." At that, she pointedly looked at Sasori, Zetsu, and Hidan.

Kakuzu coughed to get her attention, and said, "We are pleased to know that we've resolved that chaos, but, why are you here, Sakura? Shouldn't you be with your date?"

Tobi added in a soft and low voice, surprising the pinkette, "We saw you dancing, Sakura-chan, and you looked really happy. Your date must be amazing."

Blinking, she looked around, noticing the dejected aura around everyone. Her eyes softened, _these bastardly but lovable idiots_.

She spoke, in a lilting and slightly playful tone, "Ketsu-san was sweet, charming, romantic, polite, and certainly a wonderful gentleman. **He's perfect**, you know."

Hidan crossed his arms, hiding his ire and heavy heart with a casual voice, "Then why don't you go back to him and have a merry fucking night, eh?"

"**I hate it.**"

Taken aback, all the males looked at her, curiosity and disbelief present in their eyes.

Gracing them a soft, warm smile that reminds of mornings where they find her cooking up pancakes and bacon in their kitchen, and times where she says thank you and causes their hearts to beat like a blazing drum, she said, "_Perfection is boring_. He did everything in such a perfect way that he became predictable and monotonous. There's no excitement, nor thrilling surprise, because he won't do something different. Different means taking risks, and taking risks could destroy his perfect ways. Besides your attempts in sabotage, which were pretty amusing, I already knew how the date would turn out, and that really disappointed me."

Sakura inwardly revelled in the fact that she just stunned the whole Akatsuki (minus Konan) through words.

Deidara, still comprehending her mini speech, uttered, "And you're here because..."

With sparkling emerald orbs and a grin oh-so-lovely, she confidently said, "I ditched him. I mean, why would I stay with him _when I know I have you guys_?"

That instant, the males of Akatsuki—some of the strongest ninja not just in Konoha, but the whole of the Five Great Nations—knew.

They were **in love**, and they won't have it any other way.

-x-x-x-

-x-x-

-x-

* * *

. . .

I think I failed in the sabotage part. Haha.

Anyways, hope you guys like it!

Don't forget to review! ^^


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